I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

A bloody what?

Only a hippopotamus will do

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy

This is just great. Every year, it's the same damned thing.

I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

How do you 'enjoy' a hippo? Nevermind - I don't want to know.

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

So you've said.

I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?

The reindeer might.

He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue

You know Santa disembowels children, right?

Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do

Also called 'breaking and entering'. Illegal in lots of places.

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs

Why wait? Go down in the middle of the night. Get a good head-start.

Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there

Hippo hero? Is this kid for real?

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do

Right. So you've said.

No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses

I think there's too many 'uses' in there

I only like hippopotamuses

There too.

And hippopotamuses like me too

Somehow, I think not.

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then

Heh heh! Maybe it will.

Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian

Still wouldn't wanna piss one off.

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage

Got a swimming pool too? Hippos like the water.

I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage

Hippos need massages? Bloody hell!

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs

Just get on with it already.

Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there

Right - the 'hippo hero' again.

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do

Not again -

No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses

- still too many 'useses'.

I only like hippopotamuseses

Nope still too many.

And hippopotamuses like me too!

Please tell me you're done. And don't come back!

End