Spike's Version of The Hearse Song

by: Highlander II

Rating: PG-13: language
Spoilers: None
Summary: It's Halloween and Spike's found another song… (Written as a response to the Marsters Mobsters Halloween challenge).
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss Whedon and are property of Kuzui/Kuzui Entertainment, Mutant Enemy Productions, WB, UPN, FOX etc. etc.
Lyrics courtesy of several places on the web, but this version came from MysticalDoily at Marsters Mobsters. I'm not sure to whom to attribute copyright and credit for the lyrics, as nothing was listed on any of the sites. No copyright infringement intended. For entertainment purposes only.
Feedback: Highlander II

The Hearse Song

(The tune for this song is like a cross between something from Alfred Hitchcock and "The Teddy Bear's Picnic" - well, a spooky version of it, anyway.)

Okay, that's kinda morbid, but at least it shows promise…

Don't ever laugh as the hearse goes by,
for you may be the next to die.

Already dead, mate, don't think I can get any more dead.

They'll wrap you up in a big white sheet,
and put you down about six feet deep.

Is that what they do? Can't say as I recall what my burial was like. I think Drusilla did it. However, let me tell you, that 'six foot deep' thing is no picnic.

So all goes well for about a week,
and then your coffin begins to leak.

That could get a bit… wet. Is this song supposed to be scary?

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
the worms play pinochle in your snout.

When did worms grow hands? And who plays pinochle anymore anyway?

They eat your clothes, they eat your hat,
they crawl in skinny, they crawl out fat.

Don’t wear a hat.

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
they eat the jelly between your toes!

Some ravenous worms there. Ravenous worms that have very strange appetites.

Your stomach turns a slimy green,
and pus pours out like whipping cream.

Now that's just too gross. Even for me… and I'm dead and drink blood.

You spread it on a slice of bread,
and that's what you eat when you are dead!

Oh, bloody hell, I give up. Please tell people to not write Halloween songs anymore. Please? I'll even let the carolers from Christmas come back if they don't write anymore Halloween songs…

(And me without a spoon!)

Uh, I think I can safely forego the spoon on this one.


No copyright infringement intended. For entertainment purposes only.