Spike's Presents

Presents*

Like this song already. Can't really get a much better title than that.

My... present, my my presents.

See - 'my presents' gotta love this!

Fork it up, give it over, deliver the goods now, presents.

Bloody hell! A singer after m'own heart! By the way… these blokes can belt a tune!

Feed my desire for cool possessions

Oh yeah, mate. Feed… desire… cool… possessions…

Wrap it up make a mega-donation in my direction.

Yessss! All for the gimme! More more more!

Oh you gotta get in the spirit of the occasion, mama

Yes yes - especially if it means that I get more presents!

And if it isn't one, make one up, yeah

This song just gets better and better as I listen to it! Who are these guys and can I get them to do this every year?

Just as long as I got something to flaunt

I'm gonna need a cigarette after this song! Sod those buggers from last time - I want these blokes to sing the carols every year…

And I'm gettin' what I want... hey!

*mumbles something incoherently*

I'm not needy; I'm just greedy,

*points* Yep, that's me. Greedy!

And if my vision of the world is skewed maybe my eyes are too beady.

Err… well, m'eyes aren't beady, but who bloody cares? This song is great!

I won't leave it if I can't take it

These guys are readin' m'mind here. I want Christmas at their place.

And it I can't keep it all to myself I'd rather break it.

Ooooh -- break stuff -- I like that. Hold on, time out here… I just wanna say that this is the best Christmas song ever… and that these Rocka-blokes, whatever they're called, are gods with the carols or songs or whatever. If all of their Holiday music is like this… I am *so* in! Back to the song…

Oh, and if your brain is strained and you can't be creative, Daddy, Open your wallet I'll take the cash, yeah;

Hello --- cash? Merry bushels of cash? I love this! Yes. If you are out of ideas for Spike presents… money!

Quality or quantity Long as I'm gettin' the whole hog.

Yes! All for me! I'm a greedy bastard! Deal! I want… I want… I want! Gimme!

I know, you'll padlock it; or even hock it;

Pfft - that's just evil. No one should ever padlock or hock the gifts. Well, 'cept me.

You got the littlest dinosaur arm and the damnedest deepest pockets!

So, grow that arm and reach down and dig out prezzies for Spike! Because the world owes Spike a present or several. All the sodding… hold on… getting off track on a rant here. Need to stop that. More song!

So who's more twisted or more blacklisted?

Eh, I'm twisted and blacklisted - so, gimme presents… that way I don't have to do bad things…

You got me, the menace of greed and you, the lord of all tightfisted.

Ah - no wonder we're having a gift-giving issue… tightfist is wielding the ironfist over the 'menace of greed' (that would be me, by the way) - loosen up, get me stuff!

But if you bend with the breeze and cut loose the bounty baby, Well maybe then I won't eat you up

Eh - I might eat you up anyway, but I'll be happier if you give first…

Box the spoils with a bow and a bonnet and believe it or not, believe it or not...

Oooh - this sounds promising…

I won't even thank you! Presents!

*bursts into maniacal laughter as the song fades out*

Have I mentioned how much I *love* this song? This is the best Christmas song ever! Nominate this for an award or something!

END

*Song credits:
Lyrics: Sean Altman
Arrangement: Sean Altman
Lead vocal: Sean Altman

Lyrics courtesy of Rockapella.com. All rights to the lyrics, arrangement and music, property of Rockapella and Sean Altman. No copyright infringement intended. For entertainment purposes only.