From: walnutgingertea	Date: 10/17/2007 15:18:11

She had been in the lab, now she's fussing around at her desk - getting things together, changing her shoes, removing her lab coat. That done, she sticks her head into his office to tell him: "I'm going to lunch. 'Back in an hour." Then she turns to go, stopping at her desk one last time to get her water bottle before heading for the other door.

Writing the letter did make her feel better, but she isn't sure she's ready to deal with him yet. She still doesn't know what the hell he was doing. THat's the disconcerting part. She's not even looking for an apology anymore, just an explanation.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/13/2007 18:08:45

He's standing at the door, when she turns around again with her water bottle. "You want to know why I left? Because I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/13/2007 22:36:47

She didn't realize he was there. His presence makes her jump. The steps she takes away from him are involuntary, but vaguely comforting.

"What do you mean?" He always knows what to do - or, he pretends to know what to do.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/13/2007 22:46:56

"Nothing. Forget it." He turns, intending to go back to his desk.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/13/2007 22:50:47

"Fine."

She turns, heading for the other door. She's late for her walk.

She mutters, on her way, "I give up."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/13/2007 22:56:14

"Does that mean dinner's off?" He hasn't turned back around, but he hasn't shut the door between the offices either.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/13/2007 22:59:40

She barely tucks her nose over her shoulder toward him.

"I don't remember inviting you to dinner."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/13/2007 23:15:03

"I don't remember asking."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/13/2007 23:22:03

Now she's more confused than ever. And her brain just won't wrap around this right now.

"Look, I'm going for a walk. I need some air. If you want to talk, you can come with or wait 'til I get back."

She doesn't wait for a response, she just steps through the door and heads for the stairs. What's the point of going for a walk if you take the elevator to the ground floor?

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/13/2007 23:23:43

"Not much for walks." He grunts after her and goes back to his desk. He's not thrilled about the prospect of going through his own emails, but it looks like he's going to have to.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/13/2007 23:26:32

Cameron's walk takes her her entire lunch break - all sixty glorious sunshine-filled minutes of it. She had an apple and a granola bar, her entire bottle of water - twice, and she got some all natural cookies from the health food store down the street.

When she returns to the Department of Diagnostic Medicine, she looks much better than when she left. A little bouncier, sunnier. Maybe she's smiling.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/13/2007 23:29:29

He may appear grumpier. He's spent that 60 minutes inside the same four walls. Frowning.

He looks up, but doesn't speak. His gaze drops back to his computer. he's concentrating. Or trying to concentrate. or trying to appear to be concentrating.

Mick Jagger's voice is wailing out of his iPod speakers.

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/13/2007 23:37:28

Bouncy-Cameron peeks into his office and tosses the cookies onto his desk without a word, then disappears around to her side to check her e-mail and sort through anything House dumped into 'deleted'.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/13/2007 23:39:21

He sneers at the cookies. "Healthy cookies? Why bother?" He looks up, but she's already in her office, where she will find almost all his email trashed.

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/13/2007 23:41:27

"They're still chocolate - the real stuff."

She's mostly gotten his email *resorted* the way it should be - despite his feelings about test result information and other pertinent 'medical' things.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/14/2007 06:42:11

She left the door open. Nice. "Not sinful. Chocolate is supposed to be sinful."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/14/2007 11:06:30

"You haven't tried them. Those are."

There were a dozen of them when she bought the bag; there are half that now.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/14/2007 21:18:50

"Nothing healthy is sinful." He eats one, anyway. He's not sure he'd say sinful, but it is good.

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/14/2007 22:27:23

"I like them."

Keys clicking, she's still sorting through some e-mail.

And she's smiling. Amazing what a little fresh air and sunshine can do.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/14/2007 22:32:52

"Too bad you gave these to me."

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/14/2007 22:37:14

"I had some already."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/14/2007 22:45:40

"So either you bought them for me and ate half, or you bought them for yourself and I get your left overs."

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/14/2007 22:54:54

"Wow. Glass half empty much?"

She shakes her head.

"I bought them to share. If you don't want me to share, I'll take them back."

Leave it to grouchy!House to smush her sunshine.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/14/2007 23:01:06

She should have expected him to be the dark cloud in front of the sun.

"No. Mine now. You gave them to me."

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/14/2007 23:02:43

No comment from the other side of the wall.

Is she even still there?

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/14/2007 23:06:13

He's eating chocolate. He doesn't really care, at the moment, if she's there.

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/14/2007 23:10:24

She's still there - just, quiet.

She's sifting through the physical mail.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/17/2007 00:02:48

He's not paying any attention to her.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/17/2007 00:05:34

That's not any different from before.

She's bored again.

"I'm going to the clinic."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/17/2007 00:09:53

"Make sure you log in under my name."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/17/2007 00:14:41

"Um - no."

Her good mood is souring slowly. Her walk had been very nice and now he was sucking the sunshine away.

She wishes he would talk to her though.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/17/2007 00:22:45

The flaw is that he has nothing to say. He doesn't realise there is a bigger problem.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/17/2007 00:29:22

But there is something interesting in her purse - conveniently left in its usual location in her desk drawer.

Her day-planner's in there, but there's nothing interesting in there - unless he really cares when her next dentist appointment or GYN visit is. She doesn't put 'good' stuff in there, since she knows he'll read it.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/18/2007 19:36:21

He wandered over to her desk after a while. he's got Led Zepplin playing on his iPod, and he's sitting in her chair, reading the note from her purse.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/18/2007 20:04:56

She had been going to the clinic, but stopped when she realized she forgot a couple things. When she reaches the door to the office, she stops and leans against the doorframe.

"So, you were what, waiting for me to leave so you could rummage through my desk?" Almost without stopping for a breath, she continues: "Not that I expect it to make any more sense to you now than before, but now you know." Her rant continues, despite any reactions he has: "If you can stop being an ass for two minutes and tell me just what the hell was going on the other night, it would be greatly appreciated. If, on the other hand, you have nothing to say, let me know now so I can start my job and housing search again. I like, I like being with you - God only knows why after all that - but I can't do this if you're going to change the game before I can even learn the rules. It's too exhausting. And it keeps me awake thinking about things I should let go, but can't. So, really, if you can't tell me what the hell was going on, let me know. Please?"

Now she's out of breath and she's not sure she has any idea what she actually said.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/18/2007 21:21:21

He looks up at her, holding the letter she'd written in his hands. "There's nothing to say. I don't know what you want, what you expect, me to say."

He shakes his head. He really has nothing.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/18/2007 21:29:57

"Do you listen to anything anyone says?" She glares at him.

"What were you doing? Better yet - why? It's not like you to be selfless. What was your motivation?" Then she mutters, "Not that I expect and answer," as she turns like she's planning to go, but begins tracing patterns on the wall with a finger.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/18/2007 21:49:22

"You weren't doing anything!" He threw the letter down and got to his feet. "I was trying to...I don't know. Reach out. Connect, with you. You fucking blew me off and shut down like I'd wounded you. You were the one who wouldn't respond. What was I supposed to do?"

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/18/2007 22:22:06

Her eyes close and she leans her head against the wall. "Connect," she repeats in a whisper. She wants to believe him. She wants to think he's really trying - it fits into her fantasy. But everything she knows about him tells her that wasn't it.

"Is that really it?" she asks, her voice cracking.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/18/2007 22:47:19

"Doesn't matter now," he mutters. He moves like he's going to leave again, but makes a sudden grab for her, kissing her harshly.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/18/2007 22:58:49

There's a squeak and, instinctively her hands press against his shoulders as though she wants to push him away, but it's only for a moment, then her arms relax and her hands curl into his hair. This is the weirdest relationship ever.

She blinks and tears sting her eyes. Somewhere in all the haze this should all make sense, right? She knows it's supposed to. She'll think about that later. This is what she wants.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/20/2007 20:03:36

He backs her up against the wall and presses against her, his knee between her knees. It's not rough, but it's not passive either.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/20/2007 23:14:33

A soft low moan rolls from her throat as she pulls him closer, holding on to him like he might disappear in a cloud of smoke. She's not letting him go. And his knee between her legs - so hot.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/21/2007 10:48:02

He wedges his knee farther, careful of his thigh. One false move on her part, and the mood would be ruined. "You like that? Slut." His grin is feral, between kisses.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/21/2007 12:39:52

She rolls her eyes at him - just a little, playfully. Then her eyes shift, they're hooded, dark. "I love it when you talk dirty." She licks her lips and curls fingers into his hair, but otherwise, doesn't move.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/21/2007 15:36:52

"I could fuck you right here. Right here in the office. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/21/2007 16:08:35

The tiniest of whimpers attempts to make an escape and she almost keeps it down, but it kicks and fights its way free. Her fingers dig into his shoulders and she fights the urge to curl her legs around him. "Would you?" she hisses. "Right here? In the office? Would you do it? Right now?" Her questions are more challenging than begging. She wouldn't beg him for anything. But she's very glad she decided to wear a skirt today instead of slacks.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/21/2007 16:12:23

His hand jerks down to his zipper. There's all this stress and confusion built up in him, and the physical aspect of sex is what he needs to break it up. He grunts, his eyes dark and dangerous. He's teetering on the edge, and if she said the wrong thing right now, he might implode.

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/21/2007 16:18:00

"Oh God-" she pants softly, knowing what he's doing; wanting him more with each movement. "Yes - now - please -" it's not quite begging, but it's pretty close. He smells so good and she wants him - now.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/21/2007 16:36:31

If she's got underwear on, she might want to remove them now. Or risk them getting torn. He's not feeling much patience, at the moment, as he pushes his jeans open at the front, and works himself out of the waistband of his boxers.

	From: ripoffthebandge	Date: 11/21/2007 17:51:55

Her mind isn't even thinking in the direction of removal of clothing; she just wants him to fuck her. Panties can go. Clothes can go. She doesn't care.

She does wish her skirt was shorter, but as it is, there are slits up both sides, so it should move without much trouble.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/21/2007 18:29:29

There might be a tearing sound, as the slits are ripped under the force of his movements. He jerks at her panties, focused on just one goal. His eyes close as he moves in, lining himself up to thrust into her.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/22/2007 00:10:58

A soft whimpering gasp at the sound of her skirt ripping - the panties she could care less about - and she curls one leg around his hip, drawing him closer. "Yes, please, yes-" she pants against his lips, leaving hot little kisses between words.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/22/2007 00:23:43

He kisses her as he's moving up and into her. It's entirely possible the kiss is meant to shut her up.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/22/2007 00:49:16

She doesn't object - to any of it. Fingers curl in his hair and she rocks against him, wanting this. Needing it.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/22/2007 01:00:03

He grunts as he slides in, fully. The angle is awkward because they're standing up, but his hand draws one of her legs up to give him a better angle and deeper reach.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/22/2007 01:28:42

Her head rolls back and knocks against the wall, but she doesn't feel anything except Greg fucking her. All other sensations are beyond her field of acknowledgment. She wants to say something, but it only rolls from her throat as a strangled moan of pleasure.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/22/2007 12:02:13

His hand slaps the wall, and his fingers curl to dig into it. His weight is unevenly distributed, and he's not comfortable. but the pleasure is intense and over rides all of that as he rocks against her, his mouth dropping from her mouth to her shoulder, teeth nipping at her skin.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/22/2007 12:18:30

She's never done it at work before - not anywhere she's worked - and there's a thrill of excitement. That fear of being caught doing something you're not supposed to be doing. If it was anyone else she was with, she'd surely have stopped them already, but it's House and when he decides he wants her, she loses all control and her body takes over, refusing to be denied his touch. It's why making him leave or staying away from him or even being angry at him is so damned hard - because all he has to do is be in the room and she wants to forget everything and just be with him.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/22/2007 16:59:22

Once his balance and coordination line up right, he rocks harder, faster, deeper. It's not about the connection or the intimacy now. it's about the sex. The power, the control. There's some confusion in his mind about who is controlling who, but he doesn't care. He wants this, needs it, and he's going to climax all too soon. He brings a hand down to rub her clit. He's not the kind of man to ignore the woman's needs to get himself off that much faster.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/22/2007 21:06:13

She wants him to wait and she wants to ask, but her voice won't work the way she wants it to. Tongue tracing a line along his jaw, she lowers her head to suck at his neck, nibbling and tonguing until a red mark forms there. She needs this from him more than she ever thought she would. Back in Princeton, she wanted him, wanted to make him happy, now, here, in Chicago, it's become more than that - she needs to make him happy. And he deserves it.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/23/2007 19:17:47

His hand is rough, moving over her sensitive skin. He's not playing games just now. He needs this. He needs the release, the small measure of control.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/23/2007 23:13:48

Tonguing his ear, she asks, "Tell me what will make you happy right now." She's not playing games either, she wants to know, but only because she thinks she knows what he wants.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/24/2007 19:32:37

"Fucking you into the wall," he answers, voice gruff and commanding.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/24/2007 22:01:44

Her head rocks back and thunks against the wall. "God yes -" and her fingers curl into his shoulders, her hips grind down against him and she comes hard, trying to maintain her balance.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/24/2007 22:14:18

He pushes hard against her. He's so close. And the clench of her muscles is enough to make him lose control. He grunts, as his hips spasm against her, white light exploding behind his eyes.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/24/2007 22:44:00

She holds him against her, kissing him, still rocking her hips against him. When she pulls out of the kiss, she's breathing heavily and grunts, "Love the way you do that."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/24/2007 23:00:31

He withdraws, moves away from her and leans against the wall, breathing hard. He looks sideways at her, but says nothing. He needs a minute to catch his breath.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/24/2007 23:04:09

She presses a hand to the wall for balance and support and waits him out while she's catching her breath and subtly assessing the damage to her skirt.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 15:08:59

After a moment, he pushes off the wall. He's not sure where his cane is. He limps to the desk and perches on the end of it.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 18:34:36

Cameron takes a few deep breaths.

"Wow. That was intense."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 19:03:57

He scrubs a hand over his face. "Mmmfff." He's not ready for words, just yet.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 19:19:25

She finds a nearby chair and takes a seat, watching him. She's not sure what to do or say. She can't read him well enough to determine if they're okay or not.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 20:20:26

"You should get back to work." They're as okay as they can be when half of 'them' is him.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 20:26:08

"I don't have that many safety pins," she remarks regarding her skirt. It's a bit tattered for office-wear.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 20:28:46

"Damn. That really sucks."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 20:49:30

She waves a finger at him. "I should make you give me your pants since you're the one who ruined my skirt."

She's not terribly upset about the skirt, given the reason WHY it was ripped, but she's not going to tell him that.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 21:20:38

"Next, you'll want to try and fill my shoes. No thanks." He stands, intending to go back to his office.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 21:23:24

"Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to leave early. It's nice outside and we could sit in the park and terrorize the ducks."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 21:47:55

"What, and leave all this work unfinished?" He makes an exaggerated sweep os his hand across the office.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 21:49:37

"Yeah, all this work that we've had with our exactly zero cases. Yup. Be a rebel. Leave it all behind."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 21:54:24

"What if the boss finds out?" He has no intention of staying. He's just messing with her.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 22:03:46

A shrug.

"I figure you'd handle that part. You're good at stuff like that."

She might even bat her eyelashes at him a little.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 22:07:36

"Uh-huh." He takes his jacket off the hook.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 22:14:49

She smirks.

"I had you at 'take the rest of the day off'." A light snort and she shakes her head before moving around to the other side of her desk to retrieve two things - her walking shoes and a pair of jeans she'd stuffed in her bag the other night when she had planned to run some errands after work and didn't want to wear that corset all over town.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/25/2007 22:39:27

He just shakes his head and starts toward the door.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/25/2007 22:42:59

"Hey, wait up." She tugs on her jeans, bouncing on the floor to make the job easier, and whips off her skirt - she'll have to get that mended - and tugs her tennis shoes back on so she can follow him.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/27/2007 17:38:42

"Afraid I'm going to leave you?" He looks back over his shoulder, he's smirking.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/27/2007 17:44:23

The look she gives him says that's not funny; however, she doesn't say anything specific about it.

"No, afraid you'll leave before I have a chance to do this..." she tugs him - gently - back into the office and presses his back against the wall, leaning in to kiss him - hard - complete with hands in his hair and breasts pressed against his chest. She's not entirely sure she's 'over' the stuff from earlier, but she's okay for the moment.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/27/2007 18:13:25

He grunts, and a hand moves up to the middle of her back.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/27/2007 18:22:51

She holds on for a while - a long while - eyes closed, breathing through her nose, just kissing him. Somewhere in her head, she knows it all means something, but, for now, she needs him to let her do this.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/27/2007 19:48:10

He's not objecting. He's practically putty in her hands, for the moment. That could change on a dime, but for now, he's very nearly purring.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/27/2007 19:59:01

Finally, the need for air takes over and she pulls away, dropping her forehead to rest against his chest. She's quiet for a moment - possibly the longest he's ever been party to - before she hugs him once and whispers, "Let's go for that walk." It's not a question, not a suggestion, not even a command, it's just - there.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/27/2007 20:09:55

He nods once. He's not going to say anything just now.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/27/2007 20:15:20

She nods in return and waves toward the door. She'd try holding his hand, but she's afraid she'll lose fingers if she does.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/28/2007 19:28:08

It's entirely possible. He saunters out ahead of her and jabs the elevator button with his cane.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/28/2007 23:43:06
	In The Park

The walk to the park was quiet and uneventful - that last bit is a little surprising, but not entirely unwelcome.

The park isn't empty, but it's not crowded either. Her favorite bench is open and she leads House to it to sit and watch the pond. Cameron's got a few slices of bread for feeding the ducks - it's old bread that most people wouldn't want to eat. And she tosses a few pieces to them, hoping Greg doesn't do anything too horrible to the poor creatures.

She wants to talk - about what happened, about them, about what's going on - but, then again, she doesn't. Not right now. Right now is just about the park and the pond and the ducks and the cool brisk air.

She wants to know what he wants from her, what this all means to him, but she won't ask just yet. She'll wait. 'Wait until things have settled a little. Then she'll ask.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/29/2007 21:33:18
	Re: In The Park

He sits beside her on the bench, watching her feed the ducks. "You carry that with you?"

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/29/2007 21:38:05
	Re: In The Park

"I did today. I was planning to come to the park today anyway - with or without you. I like it better with you." She offers him part of a slice of bread.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/29/2007 21:46:26
	Re: In The Park

He takes the bread and tears off a corner, which he throws to a nearby duck. "Why?"

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/29/2007 21:48:32
	Re: In The Park

"Why what?" she gives him a curious look.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/29/2007 21:50:55
	Re: In The Park

"Why do you like coming here with me? I'm not big on walks in the park."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/29/2007 21:53:47
	Re: In The Park

She shrugs and tosses a corner of bread to the ducks, watching them scramble for it, the victor tosses his head back to swallow it down and keep it away from the others.

"Company's nice."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/29/2007 22:02:03
	Re: In The Park

"But I'm not."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/29/2007 22:05:42
	Re: In The Park

"Why do you do that?"

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/29/2007 22:21:45
	Re: In The Park

"Do what?" He tore another hunk off the bread and tossed it to the ducks, watching three fight for it.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/29/2007 22:23:33
	Re: In The Park

"Put yourself down."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/29/2007 22:37:29
	Re: In The Park

"I'm a good doctor. A great doctor. I save lives. I'm not so good at anything else."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/29/2007 22:47:13
	Re: In The Park

She looks down, picking at the bread in her hands, crumbling tiny bits to the ground at her feet, attracting a bit of an audience.

"That's not true - that last part," she says softly. She can't look at him or she might cry. "You don't have to make this so hard."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 11/30/2007 20:32:37
	Re: In The Park

He made a noncommittal sound in his throat and focuses his energy on feeding the nearby ducks.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 11/30/2007 21:13:25
	Re: In The Park

"Why do you do that? Why do you make things so much more difficult than they have to be?"

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 17:46:43
	Re: In The Park

He shrugs. "I refuse to candy coat things, Cameron. This is me. If you don't like it, why do you insist on spending time with me?"

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/01/2007 21:12:26
	Re: In The Park

She gives a little sigh and looks at him. "I don't want candy coating. I don't even want sugar on top. I want you to be you." A hand wave sends her last pinch of bread to the ducks, sending them off several feet to fetch it. "I don't want you to ramp up the difficulty just to make this more difficult. Not only is it not fair to me, it's not fair to you either. How can you know if this will work if you don't play it out?"

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 21:18:05
	Re: In The Park

"This is me. You don't want me to be me. You want me to be some idealised version of me you've created in your mind. I am difficult. I've always been difficult. I will always be difficult. You say you don't want me to change, but you do. You want me to kiss babies and scratch puppies behind the ears. This, whatever it is, will never play out because you are trying to change me, to mold and shape me into your image of what you want, what you need me to be."

Surprising even himself, he hasn't gotten up to leave. He's thinking about it. He doesn't want to deal with this crap, because he knows she's going to tell him that isn't true, despite his arguments. He's never understood women, he's not going to start now.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/01/2007 21:36:14
	Re: In The Park

"What is this to you? This - thing - that we're doing? Is it just sex?" She's serious, she wants to know. "I mean, it's okay if it is. I'm fine with that, I'd just like to know up front, you know? That way neither of us is wasting any time on things that are never going to work."

Even if I will be a bit disappointed to find out that that's all this is. It's better than not knowing and working for something that'll never happen.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 21:53:57
	Re: In The Park

"I'm not the kind of guy to settle down, Cameron." It wasn't yes, but it wasn't exactly no, either.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/01/2007 22:12:04
	Re: In The Park

She turns to watch the ducks frantically searching for any other crumbs of bread. "Just the kind who won't give a straight answer." She lowers her head. "I just want the truth. You're good at that, right?"

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 22:42:18
	Re: In The Park

"What do you want me to say, Cameron? I'm out of words."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/01/2007 22:52:54
	Re: In The Park

"I don't know," is her reply as she tucks her legs up on the bench and leans her head on his shoulder, still watching the ducks battle over dirt and insects. She figures, he's either too tired to make her move, or he'll drop her on the ground like a lead weight. Either way - she gets to touch him for a little while.

She keeps trying to work it all out in her head, but nothing ever makes sense - if it's just sex, he's offering a lot more than anyone else would if that's all it is, but if he's working for something more long-term, he's going about it in a way that even seems odd for him. It's the uncertainty more than anything else.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 23:05:22
	Re: In The Park

He has no reaction to her. He sighs and tossed the final hunk of bread to the ducks, but pays no attention to their squabble for it.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/01/2007 23:08:36
	Re: In The Park

She's silent for a long time - watching the ducks, listening to him breathe.

"Do you even like me at all?"

Yeah - she'd asked before, but hey, what's one stab in the heart without another to keep it company?

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 23:22:40
	Re: In The Park

"You think you know me. Would I put up with your hormones and insecurity if I didn't?"

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/01/2007 23:24:22
	Re: In The Park

"I'm not insecure. Just - nervous, I guess."

Though his answer does make her smile a little.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 23:26:53
	Re: In The Park

"You're insecure."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/01/2007 23:29:27
	Re: In The Park

"No, I'm not." She thumps him in the chest. She is, but she'll be damned if she'll admit it to him.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/01/2007 23:34:14
	Re: In The Park

"Right. I must be thinking of someone else."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/02/2007 00:09:23
	Re: In The Park

"You'd better not be. I'm the jealous type too."

Slip there - possible admission of being insecure? Maybe, maybe not.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/02/2007 00:25:20
	Re: In The Park

His answer is to reach in his pocket and extract a pill.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/02/2007 00:29:55
	Re: In The Park

She's not sure what to think of that, so her brain manufactures a distraction.

"Do you want to go to dinner tonight?"

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/02/2007 14:53:04
	Re: In The Park

"Not Chinese."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/02/2007 19:16:10
	Re: In The Park

She shakes her head. "No, I was thinking someplace nice. Not suit-and-tie nice, but not 'do you want fries with that' either."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/02/2007 19:57:47
	Re: In The Park

"Italian, maybe." He isn't looking at her.

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/02/2007 20:00:25
	Re: In The Park

"Sure." Her fingers are idly tracing patterns along the top of his jeans. "I was thinking Greek, but Italian works too."

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/02/2007 21:53:44
	Re: In The Park

He turns his head, briefly. "Greek would be all right."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/02/2007 22:06:51
	Re: In The Park

She tips her head to look up at him. "Yeah?"

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/02/2007 22:17:22
	Re: In The Park

"Yeah," he nods. "I like Greek food."

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/02/2007 22:21:53
	Re: In The Park

Smiling, she leans her head on his shoulder again. The insecurity's still there, but she's happy she found something she can share with him on a more day-to-day level. Sex is great, but it's so personal and private, it's not something they can spend time talking about at work.

	From: ineedavicodin	Date: 12/02/2007 22:26:23
	Re: In The Park

	From: walnutgingertea	Date: 12/02/2007 22:28:27
	Re: In The Park

[*nodnod*]